My husband had a violently negative reaction to the ending of Haunt. Top complaints:
1) What’s going on?
2) Nothing happens.
3) I don’t care about Tim, or anybody else.
Ouch.
So, first on the list. This was supposed to be a ghost story. Tim, the ethically-challenged art dealer, is haunted by the ghost of a lover/patron who he used. The ghost of Lillian was supposed to provide the crisis points that drove the story. I wanted her to be creepy, but not gory.
Roald Dahl says that good ghosts are written in this way:
The best ghost stories don’t have ghosts in them. At least, you don’t see the ghost. Instead you see only the result of his actions. Occasionally you can feel it brushing past you, or you are made aware of its presence by a subtle means. For example, the temperature in a room always drops dramatically when a ghost is around. This was scientifically proved by Harry Price in his book The Most Haunted House in England. If a story does permit a ghost to be seen, he doesn’t look like one. He looks like an ordinary person. (From Roald Dahl’s Book of Ghost Stories.)
So, Tim’s catatonic spells were actually periods of possession; though I wanted them to look like nasty flash-backs or, perhaps, mental illness.
I found this Dahl quote after the fact, the idea came to me from watching those terrible ghost detective shows on the History/Discovery channels. If these shows ever achieve scariness, it’s when victims recount the first few spooky occurrences in their homes. Oh yeah, and demons are always spookier than ghosts, because they’re not motivated like humans. You can’t reason with them.
So that’s what’s going on. Each flash-back was a supposed to peak your interest about how and why. Clearly, I need to suggest the true nature of these flash-backs earlier on.
Second problem: nothing happens. What was supposed to motivate this story was the dark love story between Tim and Lillian, and the consequences of his actions. However, I didn’t follow The Red Pen of Doom‘s advice and have emotional highs and lows. Tim started out anxious, he’s anxious all the way through the story (except maybe for the brief high of his business success) and he ends really anxious.
I didn’t want to have resolution at the story’s end because I’m not sure Tim can have resolution. He can’t undo what he’s done. Frankly, the ghost of Lillian may drive them all crazy, and there would be some justice to that. However, it would be nice to think that there’s some hope for Tim. So I left the ending unresolved.
CLANG! Selfishness in writing. I’m writing this story for somebody else’s entertainment, not as a moral exercise for myself. I need to have Lillian exorcised or the family destroyed. I have to make a choice.
Third problem: I don’t care about Tim.
I believe that there has to be one likable character in every story; otherwise why bother reading? I tried to trick readers into liking Tim by showing his deep love for his daughter Elsie. But, I don’t think that this is enough, to quote the Good Book:
For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?
So if even the Gentiles are doing it; it’s not going to generate much fellow-feeling. In Pests, I conscientiously gave Tom a dog, Thor, for just this reason. It worked. I think that dogs are more sympathetic than offspring, because not everybody’s good to dogs.
Tim’s not very likable; his wife is a little annoying. Probably the most interesting character is Lillian, followed by Aunt Margo. So this story needs a major re-haul. I should probably start with Tim’s boyhood ghost experience; but I need to spice that up a bit, it can’t just be imaginary-friend-turned-prophet.
